I really don’t want to have to eat Jeff.

Right, time for a bit of a rant and probably a great deal of cynicism, so to keep the mood nice and jolly, here’s a picture of a unicorn to start us off:

There, now that we’re all feeling magical, back to the point.

Life’s thrown something at me which I just can’t not moan about for any longer. It may seem silly, but what’s turned me into a premature grouch is this…

…and anything similar.

I just honestly can’t understand why anyone would say, “Oh look, I have a daughter who I kind of like. I know, let’s buy an annoying little sticker that tells everyone else on the road that we think our child is a princess.”

Just don’t do it. If the kid’s called Diana, then I can understand a bit more, but ‘little Jessica’ is not a princess ad never will be.

I don’t know whether these people think it’s cute or quirky, or whether they’re idiotic enough to think road-rage-fuelled drivers are less likely to ram into the back of them if they have one of these things.

Every time I see one, I want to grab the wheel and do just that.

To be honest, it’s just as bad as sticking one of these on your bumper:

Because seriously, if you can find me one fish-lacking person who, when sat in a traffic jam in rush hour, looks at the car in front to see that and doesn’t immediately think, “prick”, I’ll eat the unicorn.