I really don’t want to have to eat Jeff.

Right, time for a bit of a rant and probably a great deal of cynicism, so to keep the mood nice and jolly, here’s a picture of a unicorn to start us off:

There, now that we’re all feeling magical, back to the point.

Life’s thrown something at me which I just can’t not moan about for any longer. It may seem silly, but what’s turned me into a premature grouch is this…

…and anything similar.

I just honestly can’t understand why anyone would say, “Oh look, I have a daughter who I kind of like. I know, let’s buy an annoying little sticker that tells everyone else on the road that we think our child is a princess.”

Just don’t do it. If the kid’s called Diana, then I can understand a bit more, but ‘little Jessica’ is not a princess ad never will be.

I don’t know whether these people think it’s cute or quirky, or whether they’re idiotic enough to think road-rage-fuelled drivers are less likely to ram into the back of them if they have one of these things.

Every time I see one, I want to grab the wheel and do just that.

To be honest, it’s just as bad as sticking one of these on your bumper:

Because seriously, if you can find me one fish-lacking person who, when sat in a traffic jam in rush hour, looks at the car in front to see that and doesn’t immediately think, “prick”, I’ll eat the unicorn.

Oh Look…Another Overused Pun.

Just My Luck I’d be bored one day, turn on the TV and there, brightening (ahem) up my screen is the one and only Lindsay Lohan. Hooray.

I find though, that Lilo is one of these people that I enjoy watching because she’s just so horrendously bad, that it’s incredibly easy to mock – and I like me some mocking. So imagine my joy to find that I’d stumbled across the film Just My Luck starring Lilo herself along with Chris Pine – aka. Captain James T Kirk (no complaints there, eh ladies?).

Seriously, it really was Just My Luck!

Yes, that was me pathetically pushing for that pun to go further. I’m thinking I may have worn it out now though. Just My Luck!

The film, is literally 103 minutes of advertising for McFly…with a few smooches thrown in for good measure.

(Has anyone noticed how I like to imdb runtimes of films and mention them during blog updates so as to sound knowledgeable?)

Just My Luck is about a girl (Lilo) who has incredibly good luck all the time. And then there’s the boy (Capt. K) who has – yep, you guessed it – incredibly bad luck…all the time. The two kiss, McFly members banter, switch luckiness, McFly members sing a song, live their lives, McFly members flick their hair, and finally fall in love, at which point McFly becomes big and famous and, fittingly, sings another song.

A riveting plot wouldn’t you say? Particularly because Lilo is throwing a tantrum throughout while Capt. K lopes around wearing a leather jacket and a duct tape enhanced backpack being a general Spiderman-before-Spiderman-Peter-Parker-male-lead (you know, the whole “I’m a nerd, hot, not a player and care about children and old people – yeah, you’re awake” vibe).

I do have a couple of questions about the film though;

1) When they were casting it, did they just jump in and hire every every single actor who has ever been on ER?

2) Did it not become obvious to them during the filming that Samaire Armstrong (short, blonde best friend of Lilo) was allergic to whatever was going in her coffee in the morning? I mean, seriously, the flailing should have tipped them off a bit.

Just My Luck is an amusing little romp though. Not a good film, but entertaining enough. Especially if you’re an up-and-coming Olympic hair flicker and fancy checking out the competition. I’d say Dougie’s the one to watch, he’s got all the Russian neck movements down.

It’s a shame, I really thought I had a chance at London 2012.

Ah, Just My Luck.